firlalaith: fearless-stormclaw: fartgallery: bel0w-zer0: fartgallery: what if cars didnt have wheels but had mechanical feet so you just saw cars running around everywhere It would give running someone over a whole new meaning a hit and run running a red light so much for rolling stop
jesuschristvevo: what grades determine: whether you will be on the honor roll or not what colleges will want to accept you how angry your parents will be at you what grades DO NOT determine: your creativity your emotional capabilities whether youre a good person your favorite color how big your penis is when you will die
citymod: do you realize that we live in a world where people lick other people’s buttholes and yet some of you still complain about double dipping chips?
because having cute underwear makes you feel a whole lot better about yourself
zackisontumblr: i have 3 moods: skips every song on my ipod lets the music play without interruption plays the same song on repeat for days
chloemorets: i was telling a joke i made up the other day what alcoholic beverage do gay males drink penis coladas and i started laughing to myself but my friend just looked me dead in the eyes and said cocktails
foreverstuckinsadness: wheniswarped: -annoying: you can totally tell when someone has a tumblr just by looking at them or hearing the way they talk it’s like a different race or something But there’s people who have a tumblr and then there’s people who have a tumblr. Exactly^
isurvivedthekobayashimaru: I was at walmart the other day, and I was sitting on a bench waiting for my mom to pay, and I was braiding my hair because that’s something I do when I’m bored, and this dude walks by and says, “hey baby, what else can you do with your hands?” I gave him my most polite smile and said in the sweetest way possible, “strangle you.” And I think I actually scared him...
me: hi i'd like to place an order
dominos: okay what can i get for you
me: uhm hold on, hey babe you wanted a large pepperoni right?
my empty apartment:
me: yeah we'll get a large pepperoni