May 2013
firlalaith:
fearless-stormclaw:
fartgallery:
bel0w-zer0:
fartgallery:
what if cars didnt have wheels but had mechanical feet so you just saw cars running around everywhere
It would give running someone over a whole new meaning
a hit and run
running a red light
so much for rolling stop
April 2013
jesuschristvevo:
what grades determine:
whether you will be on the honor roll or not
what colleges will want to accept you
how angry your parents will be at you
what grades DO NOT determine:
your creativity
your emotional capabilities
whether youre a good person
your favorite color
how big your penis is
when you will die
citymod:
do you realize that we live in a world where people lick other people’s buttholes and yet some of you still complain about double dipping chips?
because having cute underwear makes you feel a whole lot better about yourself
zackisontumblr:
i have 3 moods:
skips every song on my ipod
lets the music play without interruption
plays the same song on repeat for days
chloemorets:
i was telling a joke i made up the other day
what alcoholic beverage do gay males drink
penis coladas
and i started laughing to myself but my friend just looked me dead in the eyes and said cocktails
foreverstuckinsadness:
wheniswarped:
-annoying:
you can totally tell when someone has a tumblr just by looking at them or hearing the way they talk
it’s like a different race or something
But there’s people who have a tumblr and then there’s people who have a tumblr.
Exactly^
March 2013
isurvivedthekobayashimaru:
I was at walmart the other day, and I was sitting on a bench waiting for my mom to pay, and I was braiding my hair because that’s something I do when I’m bored, and this dude walks by and says, “hey baby, what else can you do with your hands?” I gave him my most polite smile and said in the sweetest way possible, “strangle you.”
And I think I actually scared him...
me: hi i'd like to place an order
dominos: okay what can i get for you
me: uhm hold on, hey babe you wanted a large pepperoni right?
my empty apartment:
me: yeah we'll get a large pepperoni
